Lost in translation?

How to break a language barrier with someone you love

Ok, so you’ve just discovered that there is a slight truth to the saying that there is no limit to love, finding yourself falling for someone who can barely say ‘how are you’ in your own language.

Even though you’re a guy and it’s officially against your nature to be idealistic when it comes to love this is not an impossible scenario, and you are allowed to think ‘we can do this.’

It doesn’t matter if you don’t understand how it happened. She’s exotic, you’re exotic, it just did, and now you have to deal with it. Here are some tips on how to make it work and how to get to know each other better.



1) Your language barrier is not a handicap

Remember this: Even couples who speak the same language struggle to communicate properly and understand each other. It doesn’t matter what your friends tell you. Only you can know how you feel about someone and what you need to do about it. Not speaking the same language might actually be a blessing rather than a handicap. Look at the bright side: more kissing and less verbal abuse during fights.

Be patient.


2) Talking louder does not help

When she doesn’t understand what you’re saying it really doesn’t help raising your voice, it will probably only scare her away. Keep the words simple and talk slowly. Stick to international words that she’s more likely to understand. Like communication (communicación, kommunikasjon)

(Information, información, informasjon)
Words that end with -tion in English are usually similar in other languages.

Aaaaah, ooooh and mmm are also great communicators and highly underestimated.


3) Be melodramatic, not self-conscious

Don’t be scared to make a fool out of yourself. Make facial expressions and play on emotions. We all know how to distinguish a happy face from a sad face and at least she’ll know how you’re feeling that particular day. Self-consciousness kills communication, not the other way around.


4) Get an Etch A Sketch

and save paper to show her that you’re green and that you care about the environment. Draw your favourite things so she gets an opportunity to get to know what you like, and cross an x over the things that you dislike. She’ll get the picture and return your drawings.

When you think it’s time for you to visit her country draw it (make sure you know what it actually looks like though) and a flying airplane on its way there.


5) Speak with your body, be the caveman

Make gestures, look at her, kiss her, hold her and touch her. Physical expressions like waving, pointing, touching and slouching are all forms of non-verbal communication. If you want her to hike the mountain with you, then just point in its direction and mimic a hiking walk. We all know the international body language.

And to really speak with your body get undressed. Find out where she likes to be kissed.

According to communication researcher John Borg human communication consists of 93% body language and paralinguistic cues, while only 7% of human communication consists of words. Who are the ones in same-language relationships fooling?


6) Arm yourself with a dictionary

Though it can be time consuming to look up words that are too hard to pronounce in the first place it can be worth making the effort. You can always point on it and make her help you with the pronunciation, enhancing your bonding.

A dictionary might also come in handy the first time you pick a fight. Remember to control your frustration and not rip out the pages. You might end up regretting it at a later stage.


7) Learn the language, win her heart

There is no better way to win a woman’s heart than by learning her language. There are plenty of online language courses no matter what language you’re pursuing: Chinese, Russian, Spanish, Norwegian etc. Many of them are actually free so being broke is no excuse, but no pressure. Yellow post-its describing different objects in your flat might also be a good beginning.

For some extra motivation you can always start by learning the names of her body parts.


8) Get a translator

Last resort if none of the above is working.